An INFJ’s Premonition from the Grave

An INFJ’s Premonition from the Grave

I’ve had premonitions since childhood.  They always come in my dreams and like a dream they are forgotten when I awake.  However, when the moment of the premonition arrives, it is as though I am an outsider observing myself and all those around me. I know exactly what I myself and those around me will say and all make’s sense.   I have tended to keep these flashes of the future a close held secret throughout my 29 years. My devotedly religious family and society at large doesn’t look lightly at such things and considers them with suspicion and even as a taboo.  I have attempted to suppress my sleeping visions since they were hushed as a small child.  Now, as I age, I ponder if I should attempt to embrace them and if I were somehow able to embrace them if could I recall them clearly when I awoke.

The reason for my ever changing attitude is due in part to the murder of a dear friend. He was killed over a year ago and they are yet to arrest a suspect.  The last time that I saw him in person, I remember feeling a sense of tragedy that was to become of him.  We shared a connection of the souls. There wasn’t a romantic interest or even an intensely close friendship, but yet I understood him. He and I could both be described as tortured artists. While he drew beautiful pictures, my art was through the written word. Our lives went vastly different directions, yet I always believed that his heart was true and good despite his problems.

 Not long ago, I saw his now teenage son. When I came near to him, I felt his father. It was a feeling I had never experienced. Since then, I have had dreams and visions of my lost friend. I am a humanist, a realist, a striving intellectual, and could often be described as a true skeptic.  Thus, I am thrown off guard by these feelings and by this presence.  I want to explain it away as a phrase of grief or some odd womanly emotion. I want to be able to write it off as nonsense. Yet, there is a begging in the wind pleading with me to listen.   

So my other INFJ confidants or any out there who experience such things, I ask you this question, what would you do and what do you think? Have you also experienced similar things and how do you handle it?